Nerd

I’m tired of us pretending that nerds are cool.  They’re not.  If you’re cool, then you’re not a nerd.  You could be a quirky cool person, but you’re not a nerd.  The guy in this 9-1-1 call is a nerd.  I hope the 9-1-1 operator told this jerk, “You’re not dead.  you’re stoned. And you’re a nerd for calling 9-1-1.”

Morning quickie

I saw both these videos on “Best Week Ever” and have two quick comments.

First, about Air New Zealand, I must fly.  Not only does the entire crew have their outfits painted on them, they are way more friendly and fabulous than what I’ve encountered on US flights.

Second, the new season of Project Runway looks boring.  There new home on Lifetime has affected the fun factor. I hate that they couldn’t stay on Bravo.  Bravo is where I would have my realty TV show.  Best Week Ever says it best, click for video.

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2009-06-30/trailer-mix-project-runway-season-better-include-the-we-need-more-buttons-dude/

I miss Tammy Faye

Tears in heaven and at work.

I’m getting her book, Telling It My Way.

Horrible Swim Suits for plump women

I’m bored at work and found a website that said I could BYOB…Build Your Own Bikini.  After the new quickly wore off I peeked at their other swimwear.  They have a whole section for suiting that flattens your tummy and flatters your bust, whatevs.  I’ve always felt that swimming or sunbathing is not the time to worry about your tummy or your bust.  Let whatever you have hang out.  Having a flat tummy but huge bulbous thighs will not fool anyone into thinking you take care of yourself.  Your thighs, your arms, your double chin will be huge beacons that you love ranch dressing on your Jack in the Box tacos.  Embrace and let go.

Here are some of the more colorful suiting options…

This first suit is tempting me to purchase.  I can picture some huge black woman or myself, sauntering down the beach in this gleaming peach of an outfit. Heeled flip flops are a must with an artful outfit such as this.

This one, below, is called a monokini and claims to be slenderizing.  I can’t imagine this thing slenderizing.  I’ve seen these sort of outfits on fat girls, and the fat just bulges out the sides.  It’s horrible and embarasing.  Stick with the suit above, you’ll have a better chace.

These two are just obvious NO’s for those with extra weight.

Now get back to work/

Feather your hair sluts, one of our mums has passed on

In memory of our lady, tomorrow I will feather my hair. 

I can’t wait to feather my new bangs.

I have to get some hairspray tonight.

Something Squirrelly is Going on Here

For no other reason than to post cute pictures of squirrels, I post the following.

This is a reminder to myself

to check out this website at home.  I do enough inappropriate activities at work. I don’t want to explain to HR why I was at Black Label Adult Shop looking at The Cone.  Curiosity just doesn’t seem like a valid answer when you’re defending your job.

So later tonight…http://www.blacklabeladultshop.com/products/the_cone/127/1

That reminds me…

I found this pic at my old blog and it remindes me.  I’m trying to do the splits before the end of the year. I need to practice every single day. But I won’t.  I know me.

Why I love my family

My sister, “If I go with you, you can’t make fun of me.” (what?  I don’t make fun of her)

My dad, “Let’s meet for dinner. I’m going to want to drink. Drinking is more acceptable then.”  (Yes, please)

My mom, “For a change of scenery, let’s go pick blueberries in the country.”  (No)

Rump Shaker mixed with Barry Manilow

This song takes me back to freshman year high school.  There was lots of weed, lots of sex, lots of time, but no money and no parents.  In high school I was totally into the grunge scene, but I couldn’t shake R&B.  So my CDs comprised Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Nirvana, Wallflowers, Sonic Youth, STP mixed with PM Dawn, Whitney Houston, Montell Jordan, BabyFace, En Vogue and Janet Jackson.  Mixed into all this was my dad’s record collection, which included John Denver, Temptations, Barry Manilow, Bette Midler, Helen Reddyand random 45s.

Random?  Yes.  But, that’s where I feel most comfortable.

BTW, I’m pretty sure I’m annoying my cube-mate with my random play list.  But, you know what?  She annoys me everyday through no fault of her own, just because I’m a temperamental and manic being. She knows that, she has to.  It’s nothing personal.  Until next time, darlings.