My pubs are out of control

For no particular reason, I’ve let my pubic hair grow out. And its off the charts, the pubic hair charts.

I’ve been sitting at work, trying to discern why I’ve let things get so out of control. I can’t come of with anything, other than lazyness. Some days I have to make a serious choice:

  • Shave my legs or my vag.
  • Workout or shave my vag.
  • Do laundry or shave my vag.

Just kidding!!! I don’t workout. 

I guess a small part of me was curious what that area would look like with full growth. I’ve shaved my vagine (pronounced the French way, va-gine, with a soft ‘g’ as in aubergine) since I was 14 and sexing it with my age-appropriate boyfriend. So this has been interesting but not revolutionary. It’s super hairy. That’s it.

A hairy vagine is a hairy vagine. Don’t worry, my boyfriend hasn’t complained or said anything. As it turns out, he likes post-puberty lady bits! Winning!!!

I, on the other hand, bring it up all the time.

  • My pub hair is stuck in my under-roos again!
  • My pub hair has hat-hair.
  • These pubs need conditioning.
  • My pubs are stuck in my zipper.

All of this has run its course. And, it would seem this summer of fullness has come to a close and I plan to spend the weekend grooming my private area. (before and after pics available, for a fee)

If you have process suggestions I’m open, but I plan on a one-two at-home punch. First, trim with a beard trimmer (my boyfriend’s). Second, shave down with razors (yes, this is a multi-razor event). Then, I’ll have a sleek vagine ready for a the punch.

New beginnings

I’ve got clean underwear for the week (maybe longer, fingers crossed) and I’ve shaved my legs. I’d gone about a month without shaving and about a week wearing no underwear, just FYI.

Why, just lazy. And when you have to wear three pairs of stockings to keep warms, there’s just no room for a pair of underwear or slick legs.

Oh, and I’ve sort of worked out while I caught up on Revenge and Scandal. So that’s huge.

I don’t know what this could mean, but it feels like a new beginning. Maybe I’m starting some new habits. Maybe I’ll always have clean underwear from this day forth.

Maybe this should be my resolution for the year. I proclaim: I will have clean underwear available to me every day of the year.

Lifetime Moving Shaming

Image

Best Laid Plans-Lifetime Movie

I’m being shamed by my friends because I haven’t seen enough Lifetime Movies. It’s fair. I only recently stoked my love affair with LM. I suppose, previously, I had better things to do. Now I don’t. 

Anyways, back to the shaming…

This started when I asked, which of them was planning a wonderful night in on Sunday to watch Prosecuting Casey Anthony. This inquiry spiraled into a retelling of their favorite movies leading to quiz time. 

So I leave you with this:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/louispeitzman/do-you-know-your-lifetime-original-movie-titles

What We Learned Today*

1) FIFA was celebrating Anti-discrimination Day.  Why so serious at a soccer game?  What happened to Crazy Sock Day or Opposite Day or  Rodeo Day?

2)  The Oxford “-er” is good and bad,  but mostly good.

The Good Ones
Puffer
Nickers
Peelers
Britters and Timbers
(Brit-Brit and JT)
Penners
Tucker (tranny)
Eccer (exercise)

The Bad Ones
Preggers
Champers (for champagne)

3)   A baby gremlin is a widget. A gremlin is probably a goblin.  This is probably a widget.

4)   Never pose in this position for any camera. Not matter how good of friends I am with the photographer. Britters, what happened?  Now that I’ve seen this, I’ll probably strike this pose tonight.  Or maybe save it for my Missouri adventure.  I think it could be quite popular at a VFW.


*The story of this post:  After many drinks with a friend I stumbled into bed. With my live-in lover away for 10 days, I had only Charlie (my handsome devil of a dog) to talk to.  I started talking and began my musing to Charlie with the phrase, what did we learn today.  He listened and took notes, which I translated above.