I was writing out a Christmas card for my g’ma and after filling out her address I started to write her name on the envelope.  But I couldn’t make the pen move. I couldn’t write her full name.

The problem is I don’t know my g’ma’s full name. I don’t. I do not know her last name. I remember two surnames she has had in the past, but I can’t recall this new one. I don’t remember the new guy’s first name, either. Hmmmm.

I just wrote my note inside her card and since we don’t really know each other, it was awkward and shallow.  But, I tried to jazz it up as much as I could and kept my audience in mind. My g’ma in old, really old.  She’s a farmer’s daughter from Texas with big hair and country sensibilities. My note is on the inside flap of a Snoopy Christmas Card. Behold, my note.


I sure do miss you. I miss everyone is Texas, it will always be home to me. Forever. It’s really beautiful in Philadelphia and the people are friendly, enough. No place will ever have people as friendly as the people in Texas. Take care and I love y’all.

Yours ever,


p.s. Whatever, Martha! is hilarious.  I will officially begin referring to my new friends Alexis and Jennifer (always paired) and recounting our many adventures throughout the day. We’ll probably have a three-way one night, but just for the hell of it. They’re making cootie-catchers right now!  I so want to be at that party. (if you don’t know what a cootie catcher is…here’s your link to make one,


Globtrotters vs grandaughter…my g-ma chooses Globetrotters


My dad is blowing me off to hang with my g-ma…his mom. No big.  But, I haven’t seen my g-ma in about 17 years!  Usually I don’t even know when she’s in town.

My dad is taking my g-ma and her husband to the Harlem Globetrotter concert- his words.  He was quick to say that he couldn’t afford to take me to the concert, but wanted to give me the courtesy of a call to break our dinner plans, scheduled for the same time as the concert.  Well, the Globetrotters are playing right next door to where I work and about 10 miles from where I live.  I asked if she would want to grab dinner before the concert so we could see each other and that’s when my dad sighed.  He told me to not get my hopes up. She was only coming in to town to see the Globetrotters, but he’ll run it by her.

I’m not going to get my hopes up.  I’m not going to take it personally.  And, I’m certainly not going to be upset.

I will drink.

Piss off Globetrotters.