The following moves will demonstrate how important you are. All of these moves come naturally to me, and with practice they will for you too.
Remember these moves are way more important than exercise or reading. So prioritize; its you’re future.
TOP POWER MOVES
Pay the tab
Even if they reach for the tab, reach further. If they insist, just smile and shake your head. If they manage to beat you to it, have your office send them a reimbursement check.
Do not laugh at their jokes.
No matter what, do not laugh. Even if their joke is stupid and you want to laugh because you can’t believe someone would say something so stupid. We know they won’t say anything funny. You’re the only funny one at the meeting.
Ask for details, and interrupt them to do so
Whatever they’re discussing, interrupt them with words like:
Ask them to describe something they should start doing, do more of, and do less of.
Maybe throw this in when they’re talking about everything they do and how amazing they are at so many things. You could say:
“Is there anything you should start doing less of?”
Question their branding choice and what it says about them.
Because we know these douche bags will have a branded themselves or their “business”…we know they watch E!.
While they’re describing it, you may laugh.
Other questions to ask:
Men (and lesbians) are often intimidated when my blouses are on the verge of busting open. Does that sort of feminine power intimate you?
Are your parents siblings?
Do you mind turning off your phone? You’re ringtone reminds me of my prison days.
Do you think this is a game?
Would you like to arm wrestle? Or are you a thumb wrestler?
While searching for an image of cotton candy, I stumbled across this baby donkey named Cotton Candy.
I was taken aback and my jaw dropped when I saw Cotton. I never knew a baby donkey was so cute. For when you feel like sending me a gift, please make it a baby donkey.
Black or white, cream or grey. It doesn’t matter to me. I’m colorblind. Just buy me a mini donkey and I’ll love you forever. Cotton Candy (left) and Fifi (right) here, are from Flight of Fancy.
As I watch my dog,Charlie, play with a pile of towels, that’s really my cat, Trinity, attacking from underneath, I’m struck my how much Charlie looks like a donkey. That’s more appropriate than the usual case of mistaken identity (“is he a wolf?”).
What do you think?
India is on the left, she’s the baby donkey. Charlie is the one on the right. He’s quietly guarding that amazing stick.
1) FIFA was celebrating Anti-discrimination Day. Why so serious at a soccer game? What happened to Crazy Sock Day or Opposite Day or Rodeo Day?
2) The Oxford “-er” is good and bad, but mostly good.
The Good Ones
Britters and Timbers (Brit-Brit and JT) Penners
The Bad Ones
Champers (for champagne)
3) A baby gremlin is a widget. A gremlin is probably a goblin. This is probably a widget.
4) Never pose in this position for any camera. Not matter how good of friends I am with the photographer. Britters, what happened? Now that I’ve seen this, I’ll probably strike this pose tonight. Or maybe save it for my Missouri adventure. I think it could be quite popular at a VFW.
*The story of this post: After many drinks with a friend I stumbled into bed. With my live-in lover away for 10 days, I had only Charlie (my handsome devil of a dog) to talk to. I started talking and began my musing to Charlie with the phrase, what did we learn today. He listened and took notes, which I translated above.