I was taking a healthy, provided by law, break from my daily work, when I saw an ad online. (I needed to rest my eyes and neck and back. I’m really out of shape. How bad is it that sitting for too long hurts.)
I was playing this fun crossword puzzle thing, I’m sure you’ve all heard of it, the crickler, when I saw an ad for Rudraksha. I clicked the ad, I had to. (does anybody else see boobies?)
I’m facinated with trinkets and charms that promise good fortune (like crosses, four leaf clovers, prayer beads). This trinket promised a happy married and family life. Alone, rudraksha are the little beads that make up a prayer bead necklace, but when they are conjoined like Siamese twins, divinity occurs. (insert Om)
The websites description (I left in the spelling errors):
Two Rudraksha that are naturally joined is called Gauri shankar Rudraksha. It is recommened for happy married life. It destroyes all obsticles in way of marriage of it’s wearer. If a man worships Gauri Shankar at his worshipping place, the pain and suffering and other earthly obstacles are destroyed and the peace and pleasure of family are increased. In Puranas the bead of Gauri Shankar is regarded the best for happy family life. When any recommendation is in need of a synergistic enhancement to accelerate the effects of the Mala design, Gauri Shankar is recommended and is added directly on the back of the neck over the spine where the Kundalini flows. blah blah blah
You can wear them, hold them, or wait, wait…place them on your altar. You should avoid wearing on your hand, since your hands are so filthy from all those evening activities. There’s even a ritual involved in wearing this thing, chants and all. I’m sure this is a valid and clearly very ancient practice. I bet my sister has one of the beads. Oh did I mention one divine Siamese-twin bead will cost you $100USD + $30USD to ship, they are authentically shipped from India. There’s another rare rudraksha that will cost you $525USD!!! But, shit its totally worth it.
p.s. I’m still working out regulary (3xtimes/week) but I don’t use my e-diets subscription. I log on and look at recipes, which just makes me hungry, which leads to a cookie (preferably Grandma’s Cookies). So far, in 2 1/2 months of working out (I subtract 2 weeks due to my vacation and vacation recovery) I’ve lost 12 pounds of fat. If I could just pull my fat ass together and stop eating like a pothead I would loose more. Food is such an abusive friend of mine. You all just don’t understand our love!!!
p.p.s Don’t do a Google Image search for fat girls. It’s not worth it.