Power Moves for Meetings

The following moves will demonstrate how important you are. All of these moves come naturally to me, and with practice they will for you too.

Remember these moves are way more important than exercise or reading. So prioritize; its you’re future.

 

TOP POWER MOVES

Pay the tab

Even if they reach for the tab, reach further. If they insist, just smile and shake your head. If they manage to beat you to it, have your office send them a reimbursement check.

 

Do not laugh at their jokes.

• No matter what, do not laugh. Even if their joke is stupid and you want to laugh because you can’t believe someone would say something so stupid. We know they won’t say anything funny. You’re the only funny one at the meeting.

 

Ask for details, and interrupt them to do so

• Whatever they’re discussing, interrupt them with words like:
  • How?
  • Show me?
  • Example? 

 

Ask them to describe something they should start doing, do more of, and do less of.

• Maybe throw this in when they’re talking about everything they do and how amazing they are at so many things. You could say:
• “Is there anything you should start doing less of?”

 

Question their branding choice and what it says about them.

• Because we know these douche bags will have a branded themselves or their “business”…we know they watch E!.
• While they’re describing it, you may laugh. 

 

Other questions to ask:

• Men (and lesbians) are often intimidated when my blouses are on the verge of busting open. Does that sort of feminine power intimate you?
• Are your parents siblings?
• Do you mind turning off your phone? You’re ringtone reminds me of my prison days.
• Do you think this is a game?
• Would you like to arm wrestle? Or are you a thumb wrestler?
• Can you do this? And demonstrate this move.

BOLO for Lifetime Movie, Flowers in the Attic

BOLO is police talk for Be On the Look-Out. So, BOLO this shit.

Lifetime is moving forward with production of a movie based on that creepy-amazing-before there was ID Discovery we read this type of shit-scary book, “Flowers in the Attic.”

http://www.deadline.com/2013/07/lifetime-greenlights-flowers-in-the-attic-movie-with-heather-graham-ellen-burstyn/

We’ll have Heather Graham and Ellen Burstyn headlineing the production. Great selections.

Heather will play the mother of the children and Ellen will be the crazed grannie. The children and now single mother, who after losing their father, are forced to live with their g-parents, who hate them and their mother (their daughter), and are locked in their attic…here’s a summary from Wikipedia:

“In the year 1957, Cathy Dollanganger is twelve years old and the second of four children (including her older brother, Chris, who is fourteen years old, and fraternal twins, Carrie and Cory, who are five). They live in Gladstone, Pennsylvania with their parents, Christopher and Corrine. Their father works at a PR firm while their mother stays home to care for them. Their idyllic lifestyle ends when their father dies in a car accident on his 36th birthday.

Facing financial destitution, Corrine decides to move the children and herself into her parents’ mansion in Virginia. She writes letters to her mother, Olivia, pleading for shelter. Olivia agrees to let them stay on the condition that the children be kept hidden; she does not want their grandfather, Malcolm, to know about them.”

My memory is fuzzy, but I think one of the daughters falls in love with her brother and he may or may not rape her. Shit is crazy.

I don’t know when its coming out, probably like a year…so just BOLO this shit and enjoy it when it happens.

AKC Meet the Breeds: A Look Back at Our Favorite Cat Fashions

Things are happening out there, and we need to pay attention.

AKC Dog Lovers

AKC Meet the Breeds returns to New York City’s Jacob Javits Center this September 28th and 29th, and to celebrate the 5th annual event we’re sharing our favorite Kitty CATure fashion moments.  Check out the slideshow below and let us know your favorite!

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Today we are mature

Today, I have paid my renter’s insurance (before it was cancelled) and researched leg circulation issues.

The first is boring

But here are the things I’ve learned about leg circulation.

• We have large muscles in our legs
• They require blood
• Its hard to pump blood back up your legs to your heart
• We don’t have little pumps in our feet to pump blood back up
• We have to tone our blood vessles (jazzercise) 
• Sitting can kill you

Ways to prevent circulation problems

• you can wear graduated compression hosiery
• you can keep moving-don’t be immobile (my but is currently sore from sitting so long)
• You can exercise 

Causes include

• Diabetes 
• fatness
• poorly planned sluttiness (pregnancy)
• long periods of sitting and stuff
• standing or sitting in general

There’s a supplement that can help and I’ve ordered it. I guess I’ll also start moving around more during the day.

This supplement, from Andrew Lessman, has been used in Europe for like 40 years.

Video of Andrew Lessman, talking about his supplement:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=pljuG3M-HNw

UPDATE :: to Pub story

This morning, I weighed myself and I had gained 1 pound. 

I notify my household (cat, dog, boyfriend) of this development. 

Boyfriend says, “its probably your pubs.” He always knows how to cheer me up.

 

I decided yesterday that I’m going to get my pub situation under control this weekend. So, in addition to shedding my pubic hair this weekend, I can also look forward to shedding at least a pound. 

This is going to be a great weekend. I even think I’ll finish a book.

My pubs are out of control

For no particular reason, I’ve let my pubic hair grow out. And its off the charts, the pubic hair charts.

I’ve been sitting at work, trying to discern why I’ve let things get so out of control. I can’t come of with anything, other than lazyness. Some days I have to make a serious choice:

• Shave my legs or my vag.
• Workout or shave my vag.
• Do laundry or shave my vag.

Just kidding!!! I don’t workout. 

I guess a small part of me was curious what that area would look like with full growth. I’ve shaved my vagine (pronounced the French way, va-gine, with a soft ‘g’ as in aubergine) since I was 14 and sexing it with my age-appropriate boyfriend. So this has been interesting but not revolutionary. It’s super hairy. That’s it.

A hairy vagine is a hairy vagine. Don’t worry, my boyfriend hasn’t complained or said anything. As it turns out, he likes post-puberty lady bits! Winning!!!

I, on the other hand, bring it up all the time.

• My pub hair is stuck in my under-roos again!
• My pub hair has hat-hair.
• These pubs need conditioning.
• My pubs are stuck in my zipper.

All of this has run its course. And, it would seem this summer of fullness has come to a close and I plan to spend the weekend grooming my private area. (before and after pics available, for a fee)

If you have process suggestions I’m open, but I plan on a one-two at-home punch. First, trim with a beard trimmer (my boyfriend’s). Second, shave down with razors (yes, this is a multi-razor event). Then, I’ll have a sleek vagine ready for a the punch.

UPDATE, 100 Things…eventually

I’ve added a new one to the list.

36. Wear red lipstick as often as possible. No excuses.

Don’t be a pussy, just apply the lipstick. Stop with these flesh toned colors. Unless your eyes are done up like a Queens, you need more than a nude lip.

New beginnings

I’ve got clean underwear for the week (maybe longer, fingers crossed) and I’ve shaved my legs. I’d gone about a month without shaving and about a week wearing no underwear, just FYI.

Why, just lazy. And when you have to wear three pairs of stockings to keep warms, there’s just no room for a pair of underwear or slick legs.

Oh, and I’ve sort of worked out while I caught up on Revenge and Scandal. So that’s huge.

I don’t know what this could mean, but it feels like a new beginning. Maybe I’m starting some new habits. Maybe I’ll always have clean underwear from this day forth.

Maybe this should be my resolution for the year. I proclaim: I will have clean underwear available to me every day of the year.

Lifetime Moving Shaming

Best Laid Plans-Lifetime Movie

I’m being shamed by my friends because I haven’t seen enough Lifetime Movies. It’s fair. I only recently stoked my love affair with LM. I suppose, previously, I had better things to do. Now I don’t. 

Anyways, back to the shaming…

This started when I asked, which of them was planning a wonderful night in on Sunday to watch Prosecuting Casey Anthony. This inquiry spiraled into a retelling of their favorite movies leading to quiz time. 

So I leave you with this:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/louispeitzman/do-you-know-your-lifetime-original-movie-titles

Would Tom Ford eat this?

Pimento Cheese on Biscuit (Made from scratch; no canned biscuits for my Tom).